By: Sajad Ahmad Padday

The family is one of the essential institutions of human society and is universally found across the world; however, there are substantial discrepancies in the form, structure and function. There are two types of family structures: the joint family and the nuclear family. The extended/ joint family is comprised of two or more married brothers or cousins living together in the same household with their parents, unmarried brothers and sisters and their own children while a nuclear family consists of a married couple and their children. All societies around the world in past and present regulate sexual relations through the institution of marriage.

There are enormous variations in the structure, type and patterns of marriage and in the customs, rituals and ceremonies that are associated with marriage. Marriage is a union of a man and woman that is socially and legally approved and the offspring from the union are considered legitimate.

Family
Family is a very important and basic institution in the social system of Islam. Islam guides human beings in matters which are related to a social structure like family, marriage, divorce, etc. Regarding the significance of sex, the first thing that has been stated and explained in this connection is “All things We made in pairs” (Surat Al-Dhariyat, Verse: 49). This verse refers to the universality of the sex-law and the Master of the universe Himself exposes the secret of His Creation. The universe has been designed in relationship with pairs. It implies that one partner in the pair should be active and the other receptive and passive. This relationship is the basic which gives rise to all other relations functioning and operating in the different societies of the world. The existence of both active and passive partners is equally important. But by nature, active is superior to passive. This superiority is not due to any merit in masculinity against any demerit in femininity. It is rather due to the fact of possessing natural qualities of dominance, power, responsibility and authority. Just as the existence of both active and passive partners is necessary likewise it is necessary that the active partner be dominant and able to produce the desired effect. There are certain innate abilities and traits in the men (active partner) of which he has been made the head of a family unit. For example, a man is much more gifted innately to protect and to defend himself and to earn a livelihood and to take the initiative than a woman. It should be appreciated here that the superiority men have over women is not absolute; it is only in certain spheres- spheres which entitle men to become head of the family. There are certain other spheres like taking care of household affairs, looking after children, etc. in which women are more superior to men. The man is responsible for his family’s conduct and affairs. The wife (passive partner) and the children are obligated to obey him, provided that he does not involve them in the disobedience of Allah and His Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). He is responsible for earning a living for the family and providing the necessities of life. A husband beats the financial responsibility for the wife. It is his obligation to earn and fulfil the needs of his wife and children. In the Qur’an (Surat An- Nisa, Verse: 34) Allah Says, “Men are the governors of the affairs of women because Allah has made men superior to women and because men spend of their wealth on them. Virtuous women are obedient, and guard their (husbands) rights carefully in their absence under the care and watch of Allah”. The family in Islam has been organized in such a way as to governor, the ruler and the ruled not like the master and the slave. Social structure in Islam has been constructed upon the Qur’anic concept of Justice, benevolence and welfare. Islam disapproves of celibacy and approves marriage as a religious and moral obligation for social necessity. It is a means to emotional fulfillment and sexual gratification, legitimate procreation, interfamilial alliance and community solidarity.

Marriage
The most important challenge and the problem of social life are how to regulate the sexual urge into a social system and how to prevent it from running like wild. In order to curb the problem and accept the challenge, Islam has organized the relationship between the husband and the wife and reduced it to a system. Islam produces the laws and procedures to satisfy one’s sexual urge in a legitimate way i.e., system of Nikah (Marriage). Marriage is an important aspect of the family for developing and balancing the social system. Allah says in the Qur’an, “And marry those among you who are single, and those who have the capability for marriage among your slaves, male or female. If they are poor, Allah will give them means out of His grace. Allah is ample-giving and He knows all things.” (Surat Al-Noor, Verse: 32). If marriage is somehow impossible, then this cannot be a permit for gratifying one’s sexual desire without entering into the marital bond. Marriage is an open declaration of a contract by a man and woman to live permanently as husband and wife. It is declared in the presence of people through a responsible personality with great solemnity and gravity after he delivers a sermon to counsel and guide them. It is evident from the divine scriptures that this way was adopted from the very birth of human beings on this earth. Islam lists some kind of women with whom one cannot marry and whom marriage has been prohibited, in simple words Islam lists the prohibited relations – Muharramat. “Forbidden to you are your mothers and your daughters and your sisters and your paternal aunts and your maternal aunts and brothers’ daughters and sisters’ daughters and your mothers that have suckled you and your foster-sisters and mothers of your wives and your step-daughters who are in your guardianship, (born) of your wives to whom you have gone in, but if you have not gone into them, there is no blame on you (in marrying them), and the wives of your sons who are of your own loins and that you should have two sisters together…” (Surat An-Nisa, Verse: 22)

Marriage bounds with some conditions in Islamic society. First, a marriage should be conducted through wealth – which here refers to the dower. The Qur’an emphasizes that Allah has ordained this payment as an essential pre-requisite of marriage and immediate completion of this obligation if someone has not done yet. But the payment is not certain and fixed, the husband and his wife can mutually change the amount as well as the time of its payment. The Shari‘ah has not fixed any amount for the dower. It has been left to the norms and traditions of a society and to the discretion of the people. The second condition is chastity. No adulterer has the right to marry a chaste woman and no adulteress has the right to marry a chaste man, except if the matter has not gone to court and the two purify themselves of this sin by sincere repentance (Surat Al-Noor, Verse:3). The sanctity of the institution of marriage takes place with the consent and presence of the elders of the family. There is no doubt that the decision of marriage is primarily taken by the concerned man and woman. However, if the marriage does not take place through the consent of the guardians or the elders of the family, then there must be a solid reason for this. In the absence of solid reason, a state has the power and authority to stop such kind of marriages. The Shari‘ah by enjoining these injunctions wants to close all the ways leading to sexual anarchy and intends to restrict sexual relation to marriage only. This is the way for a human being to protect himself against all sorts of unnatural, self-created sexual excitements and to conserve his energy for the service of society. It desires that the sexual love and attraction which God has created in every man and woman for the purpose of running this universe should be exclusively employed in creating and establishing the family. Islam wants to consolidate the family. The principles of justice and fairness that Islam adopted while determining the rights of the husband and the wife should be put to adopt. Islam tries to adopt the self-purification, Punitive Laws and preventive measures for safeguarding the social system. By selfpurification human being automatically begins to follow and obey the rules of the system, whether there be the external force or not, no one compels him to adopt. The punitive laws prevent the commission of all such crimes as they may disintegrate the system or destroy any of its bases. The preventive measures help to organize social life in such a manner that it safeguarded against all sorts of unnatural, wild and artificial excitements of sexual urge.

Polygamy
Polygamy means the man or woman having more than one spouse. It is divided into Polygyny and Polyandry. Polygyny is that in which a man has more than one wife at a time and Polyandry is that in which a woman has more than one husband. Polygyny has been widely prevalent across large parts of the world since ancient times. Polyandry marriages are rather exceptional and rarely existed in parts of India, Bhutan, Nepal, Tibet and among the units of Siberia. Islam prohibits Polyandry and accepts only Polygyny i.e., Islam approves that only men can marry more than one wife at a time. It is likely to mention here that Allah addresses the guardians of the orphans to marry their mothers who are lawful to them in order to protect the rights of the orphans and take care of their wealth and property (Surat An-Nisa, Verses: 3-4). But it is evident from the explanation of these verses of the Qur’an that it is not primarily revealed to state any directive regarding polygyny as they are actually revealed to make use of the pre-existing practice of polygyny in Arabia for the welfare of the orphans. In another place, the Qur’an clearly alluded to the fact that as per the norms of human nature, the real benefits and advantages of the institution of family manifest themselves in a monogamous family. It is stated that the father of humankind; Adam was blessed with one wife. It is social, psychological, political and cultural needs that arise the need for polygyny. Such needs existed in various societies to a different extent. Muslims are directed to make use of this practice to solve a social problem that has arisen time to time. However, it has been made conditional upon two things: (a) for an objective of the welfare of orphans, a person cannot marry more than four wives; (b) if a person is not able to deal justly with all four wives, he should not marry more than one.

Divorce
Divorce is another component of the institution of family which means separation from one another i.e. when it becomes impossible for a husband and wife to get along with one another, there exists in all divine religions the option of separation. It was mentioned in the early Abrahamic faiths and Islam also reveals the laws of divorce almost the same as already existed in that society. In religious terminology, it is called talaq (divorce). In Surat Al-Talaq, Allah has revived with certain additions and amendments that very law. Some details of this law are mentioned in Surat Al-Baqarah and Surat Al-Ahzab. Before circumstances reach to such extent that the divorce remains the only option, one should have an intense desire to keep intact the marital relationship as much as possible. However, if all efforts of reformation failed then Allah asked Muslims to make the last attempt for the survival of this relationship i.e., the relatives of the couple, their clan and tribe and other well-wishers should come forward and use their influence to set right the situation. One arbitrator from the husband’s family side and one from the wife’s family side and they should try to reconcile the two. If this does not work then the divorce should be made by following the procedure mentioned in the Qur’an. Whether a husband divorces with his own decision or does so at the demand of his wife, this procedure should be followed. Consideration of ‘iddat (waiting period), until this period expires the husband has the right to take back his wife (ruju‘). If he does not take back his wife within the period of ‘iddat then the relationship of wedlock will cease to exist. “Either retain them with kindness or let them go with kindness…” (Surat Al-Baqarah, Verse: 231). If a husband revokes his decision within the period of ‘iddat, the woman will continue to be his wife, but he can exercise this right only two times in his life to the same wife. However, once he used this authority thrice his wife would be permanently separated from him except if she marries some other person and he then also divorces her with the same procedure (Surat Al-Baqarah, Verses: 230,232). Whether the husband decides to divorce his wife or take her back, in both cases the Qur’an directs him to have two Muslims testify on his decision (Surat Al-Talaq, Verse: 2). This is the correct way of divorce and the decisions shall stand legally implemented.

Conclusion
The institution of the family is the bedrock of both human societies as well as civilization. Islam lays a strong emphasis on consolidating this vital social institution so that the individual realizes his full potential in all its probability. A considerable number of Qur’anic verses deal with the regulation of family life and family issues. All the related aspects like marriage, divorce, kinship, etc. have been well addressed in the sources of Islam as well as the scholarly interpretations of Muslim luminaries. The Islamic concept of family and Islamic teachings on family life are potent enough to produce such citizens who are all the more beneficial for the whole humanity.