By: Dr. Yusuf Al Qardawi, Qatar

How a Muslim Woman Should Conduct Herself
The correct Islamic behavior required of Muslim women which keeps them from wantonly displaying their attractions is characterized by the following

A. Lowering the gaze: Indeed, the most precious ornaments of a woman is modesty, and the best expression of modesty is in lowering gaze, as Allah (Glory be to Him) says.

(… And tell the believing women that they should lower their gazes…) (An-Nur: 31)

B. Not intermingling with men in such a way that their bodies come in contact or that men touch women, as it happens so often today in movie theaters, university classrooms, auditoriums, buses, streetcars, and the like. Ma’qal ibn Yasar narrated that the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said,

“It is better for one of you to be pricked in the head with an iron pick than to touch a woman it is unlawful to touch.” (Tabarani and Bayhaqi)

C. Her clothing must conform to the standards laid down by the Islamic Shari’ah, which are as follows:

• Her dress must cover her entire body with the exception of “that which is apparent.” Which, according to the most preferable interpretation, refers to the face and hands.
• It must not be transparent, revealing what is underneath it. The Prophet (pbuh) has informed us that among the dwellers of Hell are “such women as are clothed yet naked, seduced and being seduced. These shall not enter Paradise, nor shall (even) its fragrance reach them.”

Here the meaning of “clothed yet naked” is that their light, thin, transparent garments do not conceal what is underneath. Once some women of Banu Tamim, who were clad in transparent clothes, came to see A’ishah, she remarked, “If you are believers, these are not the clothes which befit believing women”. On another occasion, when a bride wearing a sheer and transparent head-covering was brought into her presence, she commented, “A woman who dresses like this does not believe in Surat an-Nur.”

• Her dress must not be too tight so as to define the parts of her body, especially its curves, even though it may not be transparent. This describes many of the styles of clothing current in the sensuous, materialistic civilization of the Western world, whose fashion designers compete with one another in devising clothing for women which tantalizingly emphasizes the bustline, waist, and hips, etc., in order to elicit the lustful admiration of men. Women who wear such clothes likewise fall under the definition of “clothed yet naked,” since such a dress is often more provocative than one who is transparent.
• She must not wear clothes which are specifically for men, such as trousers in our time. The Prophet (pbuh) cursed women who imitate men and men who imitate women, and prohibited women from wearing men’s clothing and vice-versa.
• In her choice of clothing she should not imitate non-Muslims, whether they are Jew, Christian, or pagan, for Islam disapproves of conformity to non-Islamic modes and desires its follower to develop their own distinctive characteristics in appearance, as well as in beliefs and attitudes. This is why Muslims have been asked to be different from non-Muslims in many aspects, and why the Prophet (pbuh) has said.

“Whoever imitates a people is one of them.”(Abu Dawud)

D. The Muslim woman walks and talks in a dignified and business-like manner, avoiding flirtatiousness in her facial expressions and movements. Flirting and seductive behaviors are characteristics of wrong-minded women, not of Muslim ones. Allah (Glorified be He) says,

Then do not be too pleasant of speech, lest one in whose heart there is a disease feel desire (for you)…) (Al-Ahzab: 32)

E. She does not draw men’s attention to her concealed adornment by the use of perfume or by jingling or toying with her ornaments or other such things. Allah the Almighty says,

They should not strike their feet in order to make known what they hide of their adornment … (Al-Nur: 31)

The women of the time of Jahiliyyah used to stamp their feet when they passed by men so that the jingling of their ankle-bracelets might be heard. The Qur’an forbade this, both because it may tempt a lecherous man to pursue her and also because it demonstrates evil intention of the woman in case of attempting to draw the attention of men to herself. Similar is the Islamic ruling concerning the use of fragrant perfumes, since here again the intention is to attract men by exciting their desire. A hadith stated,

“The woman who perfumes herself and passes through a gathering is a zaniyah (adulteress of fornicatress).” (Abu Dawud and Tirmidhi)

From all this we know that Islam does not require, as some people claim, that a woman should remain confined to her house until death takes her out to her grave. On the contrary, she may go out for Prayer, for her studies, and for her other lawful needs, both religious and secular, as it was customary among the women of the families of the Companions and the women of later generations. Moreover, this early period of Islam is considered by all Muslims to be the best and most exemplary period in the history of Islam. Among the women of this time were those who took part in battles in the company of the Prophet himself (pbuh), and after that under the caliphs and their commanders. The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) once said to his wife Sawdah,

“Allah has permitted you to go out for your needs.”
(Bukhari)

He also said,
“If someone’s wife asks his permission to go to the mosque, he should not deny it to her.”
(Bukhari)

On another occasion he said.
“Do not prevent Allah’s female servants (to go to) Allah’s mosques.” (Muslim)

Some very strict scholars are of the opinion that a woman is not allowed to see any part of a man who is not her mahram. They base their ruling on a hadith narrated by At-Tirmidhi on the authority of Nabhan, the mawla of Umm Salamah, that the Prophet (pbuh) told Umm Salamah and Maymunah, his wives, to veil themselves when Ibn Umm Maktum entered. “But he is blind,” they said. The Prophet (pbuh) replied. “But are you blind, too? Do you not see him?”

However, researchers say that the manner in which this hadith has been transmitted renders it unsound. While, in Umm Salamah’s hadith, it was her mawla Nabhan who reported it from her, and his report is not held as a proof by scholars. Even if the hadith is sound, it simply shows that the Prophet (pbuh) was very strict in respect to his wives because their exceptional status required greater modesty on their part; Abu Dawud and other great scholars have commented on this exceptional position of the wives of the Prophet (pbuh). In any case, the significance of the following well-established and sound hadith remains uncontested: The Prophet (pbuh) instructed Fatimah bint Qays to spend the required period of waiting (‘iddah) following the death of her husband at the house of Umm Sharik. But he later changed his mind, saying,

“My Companions gather in her house. Go and stay at (the house of) Ibn Umm Maktum, since he is a blind man. If you uncover yourself he will not see you.” (Tafsir al-Qurtubi, v. 11, p. 228)

A Woman’s Serving Male Guests
A woman may serve her husband’s guests in his presence as long as she adheres to the Islamic standards in her dress, movements, and speech. They will naturally see her and she will see them, and there is nothing haram in this as long as there is no danger of involvement on either side.

Al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others narrated that Sahl ibn Sa’d al-Ansari said,

“Abu Usayd as-Saidi invited the Prophet (pbuh) and his Companions to his wedding. The food was prepared and served by none other than his wife, Umm Usayd. She had soaked some dates in milk in stone pot overnight. When the Prophet (pbuh) had finished his meal, she mashed the dates and brought the drink to him.”

Sheikh al-Islam Ibn Hajar commented,
“From this hadith we conclude that a woman is permitted to serve her husband and his male visitors, just as the husband is permitted to serve his wife. It is evident that her serving the visitors is allowed only if there is no fear of temptation and if she is properly dressed; if the wife is not properly dressed (as is the case with a majority of women in our time) her appearing in front of men is haram.”

Sexual Perversion: A Major Sin
We must be aware that in regulating the sexual drive Islam has prohibited not only illicit sexual relations and all ways which lead to them. but also the sexual deviation known as sodomy. This perverted act is a reversal of the natural order, a corruption of man’s sexuality, and a crime against the rights of females.

The spread of this depraved practice in a society disrupts its natural life pattern and makes those who practice it slaves to their lusts, depriving them of decent taste, decent morals, and a decent manner of living. The story of the people of Prophet Lut (Lot) as narrated in the Qur’an should be sufficient for us. Lut’s people were addicted to this shameless depravity, abandoning natural, pure, and lawful relations with women in the pursuit of this unnatural, foul and illicit practice. That is why their Prophet, Lut (peace be upon him), said to them,

What! Of all creatures, do you approach males and leave the spouses whom your Lord has created for you? Indeed, you are people transgressing fall limits) (Ash-Shuara’: 165-166)

The strangest expression of these peoples perversity of nature, lack of guidance, depravity of morals, and aberration of taste was their attitude toward the guests of Prophet Lut (peace be upon him) who were angels punishment in human form sent by Allah to try these people and to expose their perversity. The Qur’an narrates the story:

And when Our messengers came to Lut, he was grieved on their account and did not know how to protect them. He said, “This is a day of distress.” And his people, who had long since been practicing abomination, came rushing toward him. He said. ‘O my people, here are my daughters. They are purer for you. so fear Allah and do not disgrace me in front of my guests. Is there not a single upright man among you?” They said. Thou knowest well that we have no right to thy daughters, and certainly thou knowest what we want.’ He said. ‘If only I had strength to resist you or had some powerful support! Said (the angels) ‘O Lut we are messengers of thy Lord they shall not reach thee…) (Hud: 77-81)

The jurists of Islam have held different opinions concerning the punishment for this abominable practice. Should it be the same as the punishment for zina, or should both the active and passive participations be put to death? While such punishments may seem cruel, they have been suggested to maintain the purity of the Islamic society and to keep it clean of perverted elements.

A Ruling Concerning Masturbation
The pressing need to relieve himself of sexual tension may drive a young man to masturbation.
The majority of scholars consider it haram. Imam Malik bases his judgments on the verse,
Those who guard their sexual organs except with their spouses or those whom their right hands possess, for (with regard to them) they are without blame. But those who crave something beyond that are transgressors. (Al-Mu’minun:5-7)

arguing that the masturbator is one of those who “crave something beyond that”.

On the other hand, it is reported that Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal regarded semen as an excretion of the body like other excreta and permitted its expulsion as blood letting is permitted. Ibn Hazm held the same view. However, the Hanbali jurists permitted masturbation only under two conditions: first, the fear of committing fornication or adultery, and second, not having the means to marry.

We are inclined to accept the opinion of Imam Ahmad in a situation in which there is sexual excitation and danger of committing the haram. For example, a young man has gone abroad to study or to work, thereby encountering many temptations which he fears he will be unable to resist, may resort to this method of relieving sexual tension provided that he does not do it excessively or make it into a habit.

Yet better than this is the Prophet’s advice to the Muslim youth who is unable to marry, namely, that he seek help through frequent fasting, for fasting nurtures will-power control of desires, and strengthens the fear of Allah. The Prophet (pbuh) said.

“O Young men, those of you who can support a wife should marry, for it keeps you from looking at women (lit, lowers your gaze) and preserves your chastity, but those who cannot should fast for it is a means of cooling (sexual passion).”(Bukhari)