By: Allama Mohammed Shihabuddin Nadvi

Marriage is the Cause of Longevity
According to a United Nations report, married people live longer than unmarried people, whether they are men or women, widows or unmarried people. This report has been compiled in view of various statistics. The report also states that the average death rate for married people at different stages of life is much lower as compared to unmarried people.

It also states that on basis of this report, it is possible to say that marriage is beneficial for both men and women in terms of health. Even the danger of pregnancy and childbirth has now become very mild and they are no longer considered a (danger) in the lives of nations.(37)

The woman brings her own sustenance
When a man and a woman enter into a marital relationship, it not only closes the door to adultery but also lays the foundation for a new family, which helps to promote a virtuous society. The first step in the well-being of a society is that the union of a man and a woman should take place lawfully on the basis of Shari’ah and moral grounds, and there should be no rifts or conflicts between them. In all the divine laws, the marriage relationship is considered sacred and men and women are encouraged to be chaste and virtuous. From this point of view, when a man and a woman are engaged in a marital relationship, that is, when they become husband and wife according to shariah and law, since they are acting according to the God’s law, their sustenance becomes the responsibility of Almighty Allah. And He opens the door of sustenance for them, when they both sincerely try to be companions and helpers of each other, with the intention of fulfilling each other’s rights for the sake of God’s pleasure.

من تزوج ثقة اللہ واحتسابا کان على اللہ ان يعينه وأن يبارک له۔

“The Prophet (PBUH) said: Whoever marries trusting Allah and with the intention of reward, then it is the duty of Allah to help him and bless him.” (38)

تزوجو النساء ياتينکم بالاموال:

The Prophet (PBUH) said:Marry women, and they will come to you with their wealth (their own sustenance). (39)

ثلاثة حق على اللہ ان يعينھم: المجاھد فى سبيل اللہ، والناکح يريد ان يستعف، والمکاتب يريد الاداء:

The Prophet (PBUH) said: There are three people whom Allah has the right to help: (1) A mujahid ‘warrior’ who is in the way of Allah, (2) The one who marries seeking chastity, (3) A slave who wants to pay the fixed amount for his freedom.(40)

The implication of these hadiths is that it is not correct for a person to abstain from marriage due to the fear of the neediness or the fear of not being able to pay maintenance to his wife. On the contrary, if he is healthy and strong, then he should get married by trusting Allah, because Almighty Allah will definitely help such a person. Provided that his intention is right and he also takes practical measures to fix his economic condition.

Spending on family is the best course of action
It is generally believed that the divine reward is only for charity or for spending money in the way of God, or for doing some charitable work. But this is a misconception. And the correct Islamic concept is that spending on wives and children and taking care of them is superior than spending in the way of God, because it is obligatory to pay maintenance of wife and children, as opposed to spending in the way of God. Yes, if you save something after spending it on your family, then you can focus on other matters, otherwise you can’t. Even zakat is obligatory on a person only if he saves so much in addition to his household expenses that its value reaches one nisab (seven and a half tolas of gold or fifty two and half tolas of silver or its equivalent). In some hadiths, the virtue of spending on one’s family is clearly stated as follows:

دينار انفقته فى سبيل اللہ، ودينا أنفقته فى رقبة، ودينار تصدقت به على مسکين، ودينار انفقته على اهلك، اعظمھا اجرا الذى انفقته على اهلك:

“You spend one dinar in the way of God. One dinar you spend to save someone’s life. One dinar you give in charity to a poor person. And one dinar you spend on your family. So the greatest dinar in terms of reward will be the one you have spent on your family.”(41)

افضل الدينار دينار ينفقه الرجل على عياله:

“The Prophet (PBUH) said: The most virtuous dinar is the one which a person spends on his family.” (42)

On the contrary, in some hadiths, it has been emphasized to spend on one’s wife and children and to pay for their maintenance to the extent that this act has been termed as charity instead. That is, because of the payment of this duty (which a person performs for his own benefit) he is also entitled to a reward.

اذا انفق المسلم نفقة على اھله وھو يحتسبھا کانت له صدقة:

“The Holy Prophet (PBUH) said that when a Muslim spends on his wife and children considering it a reward (sawab), then such spending becomes charity for him. (As if he has given charity in the way of Allah.)” (43)

انك لن تنفق نفقة تبتغى بھا وجه اللہ الا اجرت عليھا، حتى ماتجعل فى فم امرأتك:

“The Prophet (PBUH) said: Whatever you spend for the sake of Allah’s pleasure, you will be rewarded for it. Even for the bite you put in your wife’s mouth you will be rewarded.” (44)

The reason for this is that when the maintenance of the people is imposed on a person, he has to take care of them. Otherwise, he will be found guilty in the sight of Allah for evading this duty.

کفى بالمرء اثما ان يضيع من يقوت:

“It is enough for a person to be a sinner that he should waste the maintenance of those for whom he is responsible.” (45)

In a nutshell, it is natural to spend money on one’s wife and children, and this action is also very important from a social and cultural point of view. It is obvious that if a person took part just for the sake of sexual pleasure or enjoyment and tried to avoid the responsibilities that come with it than it would be considered an unnatural act that would be socially and culturally very harmful and detrimental. That is why feeding wife and children with halal food has been declared a great jihad.

ليس الجهاد ان يضرب الرجل بسيفه فى سبيل اللہ، انما الجهاد من عال والديه وعال ولده فھو فى جهاد:

“Jihad is not about wielding swords in the way of Allah. Rather, jihad for a person is to become the breadwinner of his parents and his children.” (46)

Therefore, the first thing that will be weighed on a person’s deeds on the Day of Resurrection will be the alimony he has spent on his family:

اول ما يوضع فى ميزان العبد نفقته على اھله:

“The first thing to be put in the balance of a servant (of Allah) will be the alimony that he has spent on his family.” (47)

Girls are not inauspicious
On this occasion, it is important to draw the attention towards an important misconception of present era. Today many people consider the existence of girls as ominous and unlucky and consider them as a bane. Obviously, this is an irrational and corrupt trend. Almighty Allah has created this universe according to His eternal plan and has placed in it an amazing balance and proportion of men and women according to His wisdom of creation. He also gives boys to whom He wills and gives girls to whom He wills, according to His wisdom and expediency. Just as boys are a blessing from God, so are girls a special gift from Almighty God. Therefore, to consider them inauspicious or inferior in any degree is an insult to God’s creation and a denial of His gift. If there are no girls, then where will be the pair for the boys found? And how can men live without women? If we look at this from this point of view, it will be seen that the existence of girls is not a nuisance in any way but a manifestation of God’s mercy, because without a girl we can’t marry our son and start a new family. So just as we need a girl to be our daughter-in-law, so we need our own girl to be someone else’s daughter-in-law. This is the two-way process that has established the world order. Therefore, girls should be brought up with full cheerfulness and sincerity. If the intention of reward in Hereafter is included in this, then this action will not be felt as a burden at all. Therefore, great virtue of raising and training girls has been mentioned from the religious and Shari’ah point of view, and those who suffer in this way have been given the good news of Paradise. Hence, girls are really a great trust of Allah, who has to be hand over to the competent people before relieving one’s own responsibilities.

Girls are a test from Allah Almighty for His servants. If a person fulfills this test, he will not only be rewarded immensely, but he will also be entitled to Paradise.

من ابتلى من البنات بشيء، فاحسن اليهن ،کنّ له سترا من النار۔

“Whoever is tempted by girls but treats them kindly, they will become a barrier to him from Hell.”(48)

لايکون لاحدکم ثلاث بنات او ثلاث اخوات فيحسن اليھن الا دخل الجنة:

“The Prophet (PBUH) said: Whoever of you has three daughters or three sisters and treats them well, he will enter Paradise.” (49)

من عال جاريتين دخلتُ انا وھو الجنة کھاتين، واشار باصبعيه.

“The Prophet (PBUH) said: He who takes care of two girls, he and I will enter Paradise in this way. And he gestured with his two fingers.” (50)

The benefits of having children
From a cultural and social point of view, having children has many benefits. It will not only maintain the continuity of the human race but it also perpetuates family, kinship and human values. It also has the benefit of parental care in old age. But the biggest advantage perhaps is that his name always stays with his lineage. And if the children are righteous, they pray for their parents, because of which the ranks of the parents will continue to rise. That is, a person will continue to get the benefits even after death because of his righteous children. That is why the believers have been urged to seek good and virtuous children.

وَالَّذِيْنَ يَقُوْلُوْنَ رَبَّنَا ھَبْ لَنَا مِنْ اَزْوَاجِنَا وَزُرِّيتِنَا قُرَّةَ اَعْيُنٍ وَّاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِيْنَ اِمَاماً۔ (فرقان:٧٤)

“And (the servants of the Almighty Allah are) those who say: ‘O our Lord, make our wives and children a source of comfort for us and make us the model of the righteous people.”

And in the hadiths, it has been mentioned:

لايدع احدکم طلب الولد، فان الرجل اذا مات وليس لہ ولد انقطع اسمہ۔

The Prophet (PBUH) said: “None of you should give up the desire for a boy, because when a person dies and becomes childless, his name is cut off.”(51)

خير ما يخلف الرجل بعد ثلاث: ولد صالح يدع لہ، وصدقة تجرى يبلغہ اجرھا، وعلم ينتفع بہ من بعدہ:

“There are three good things that a person leaves behind: (1) A good boy who keeps on praying for him. (2) Ongoing charity, the reward of which continues to reach him. (2) And knowledge by which people continue to benefit after him.”(52)

ان الرجل ليرفع بدعاء ولدہ من بعدہ:

(Sa’eed ibn Musaib (RA) used to say that) the ranks of a man will be raised even after his life because of the prayers of his son.(53)

إن الرجل لترفع درجته فى الجنة فيقول: أنى هذا؟ فيقال باستغفار ولدك لك:

The Messenger of Allaah (PBUH) said: “When a person is elevated in Paradise, he will say: How did this happen? He will be told that because of your son’s prayer for your forgiveness.”(54)

Some hadiths state that if a person loses three minor children, Allah will bestow him Paradise in return, because the most beloved thing in the world is one’s children. And when a person is patient with the loss of his most beloved thing, Allah is pleased with him. Because he did not lose his patience despite spending his hard earned money on his beloved ones. On the contrary, in spite of being snatched from the support of his old age, he had expressed his pleasure in the pleasure of God, considering it as a trust of God.

ما من الناس من مسلم يتوفى له ثلث لم يبلغوا الحنث الا ادخله اللہ الجنة بفضل رحمته اياھم:

“Whoever Muslim loses three minor children, Allah will let him into Paradise because of His mercy on him.”(55)

صغارکم دعاميص الجنة، يتلقى احدھم اباه فيأخذ بثوبه، فلا ينتھى حتى يدخله اللہ واباہ الجنة:

“The children who die in infancy will be the worms of heaven (they will keep coming in and going out of heaven). Every such child will hold the skirt of his father and he will not leave him until Almighty Allah lets him and his father into Paradise.”(56)

ايما امرأة مات لھا ثلاثة من الولد کانوا لھا حجابا من النار۔ قالت امرأة واثنان؟ قال واثنان:

Once the Holy Prophet (PBUH), while preaching in a group of women said that if a woman loses three children, they will become a shield for her from Hell. One woman asked, “What if there are two?” He said that the same is the case with the two.”(57)

الولد من ريحان الجنة۔:

“The boy is a flower of heaven.”(58)

ريح الولد من ريح الجنة۔:

“The fragrance of a child is the fragrance of heaven.”(59)

Therefore, according to some traditions, there is no blessing in a house without children.(60)

بيت لاصبيان فيه لابرکة فيه۔:

“There is no blessing in a house without children.”(60)

All these hadiths show that the emphasis has been given on adopting a married life and chaste life, taking proper care of the wife and children and their proper upbringing. ***
(to be cont.)

References:
37- Refer: Fiqhus Sunnah, Syed Sabiq, V. 2, P. 15, Darul Kitab Al Arabi, 1397 AH.
38- Narrated Tabrani in Kabir and Awsat, refer Majma al Zawaid, V. 4, P. 258.
39- Narrated Al Bazzaz, its narrators are trustworthy, refer Majma al Zawaid, V. 4, P. 255.
40- Jami al-Tirmizi, Fazail al Jihad, V. 4, P. 184; Al Mustadrak, V. 2, P. 160; Nasa’ie, Kitab al-Nikah, V. 2, P. 677; Musnad Ahmed, V. 2, P. 251; Al Sunan Al Kubra, V. 7, P. 78; Ibn Majah, Kitab al Itq, V. 2, P. 842; Sahih Ibn Hibban, V. 7, P. 135.
41- Sahih Muslim, Kitab al-Zakat, 2/692; Musnad Ahmed, 2/473.
42- Sahih Muslim, 2/692.
43- Bukhari, Muslim, Tirmizi etc.
44- Bukhari, Kitab al-Iman, 1/20; Muslim, 3/1251.
45- Abu Dawood, Nasa’ie, Hakim etc. form Al Targhib wat-Tarheeb.
46- Ibn Asakir from Kanzul Ummal, 16/469, Muassatur Risala.
47- Awsat, Tabrani, form Al Targhib wat-Tarheeb, 3/64.
48- Sahih Muslim, 4/2027, Riyadh.
49- Jami Tirmizi, 4/318, Dar Ihya al-Turas al-Arabi; Musnad Ahmed 3/42.
50- Jami al-Tirmizi, 4/318.
51- Narrated Tabrani, from Majma al-Zawaid, 4/258.
52- Muslim, 3/1255; Tirmizi, 3/660; Abu Dawood, 3/300 etc.
53- Mu’atta Imam Malik, 1/217, Dar Ihya al-Turas al-Arabi.
54- Sunan Ibn Majah, 2/1207, Musnad Ahmed; Kanzul Ummal, 16/273.
55- Bukhari, 2/72.
56- Muslim, 4/2029; Musnad Ahmed, 2/488.
57- Bukhari, 2/72, Istanbul.
58- Kanzul Ummal, 16/273, Beirut
59- Ibid.
60- Ibid.